Caring Connections for Social Emotional Behavioral Health

Feb 29 2024

With Spring right around the corner, it’s a great time to start fresh. Many people view Spring as a time to open windows & doors; letting fresh air and sunshine into their homes. Some may also use Spring as a time to clean and declutter their homes, giving them a fresh start for the upcoming season. With this in mind, Spring can also be a great time to give students in your classroom a fresh start.

Unfortunately, it is hard to continuously let challenging behavior roll off your shoulders. We are all human and at some point, we all feel impacted by challenging behavior faced daily. Even when we know that students who display those behaviors are not intentionally doing so, it can still be hard to remain calm and not take the behavioral reactions personally. Over time, if not addressed, these feelings of tension can turn into feelings of avoidance.

Additionally, it is important to remember that while you may have been working with the same group of students over a long period, they are most likely not the same students they were when you met them. Students are constantly learning, growing, and changing. While we may develop assumptions about them over time, we must be constantly monitoring those assumptions and not allowing them to underestimate their potential.

“Students can become trapped in past behavior and unable to break out of old patterns if we rely on past interactions to interpret what we’re seeing now (MasterTeacher, 2023)."

Take a moment to reflect on the students in your classroom. Is there a student you have found yourself disconnected from? Is there a student you have not made the same effort to connect with as you have with the other students in your classroom? Do you find yourself holding your breath when interacting with a particular student, concerned about what the student might do if they are unhappy with your request?

If you found yourself answering yes to any of these questions, it might be a good opportunity to give this student a fresh start.

Having a fresh start with a student is not as easy as it sounds. This is something that must be done intentionally and very purposefully. Here are a few ideas for starting fresh:

Express Gratitude. Focus on making your first interaction with this student positive and welcoming. If the student comes in late often, instead of asking them where they were and what they were doing, say you are glad to see them. Then speak privately later about the importance of being in class on time.
Encourage Them. Students who frequently experience challenging behaviors are used to negatively hearing their names. They are also accustomed to being told about what they did wrong or what they failed to do. Instead, tell them what they did well. Use their name and connect it with a positive statement. Encourage them to try even when things are difficult.
The Golden Rule. Treat them the way you want to be treated. Have you ever found yourself treating your students differently? It is natural to be more relaxed and comfortable around those who tend to follow the rules. Focus on your interactions with students who demonstrate challenging behaviors and compare those interactions to the ones you have with your most motivated students. If there is a difference, consider treating the students who demonstrate challenging behavior similarly to how you treat your motivated students.
Positive Communication. Consider the communication parents are receiving from the school. Receiving frequent communication from the school about all the challenging behaviors your child is demonstrating at school can be exhausting. Furthermore, it doesn’t allow the parents to focus on things that may be going better for their child. When you notice the student has made some improvements, was helpful, or demonstrated positive behavior - tell the parents! Call them, send an email, or write a quick postcard.
Assume Positive Intentions. Avoid letting a student’s history determine how you approach them. Treat them as those their intentions are good rather than assuming negative intent. This will create a healthier environment for all and support positive peer relationships.

While every day should be an opportunity for a fresh start, we need to be intentional about giving students who demonstrate challenging behaviors a fresh start. You may even consider (depending on age) talking privately with the students about giving them a fresh start. Be open and honest with them about what you have been noticing in your classroom and ask for their input about how to improve things. Get their buy-in for a successful plan and check in with each other on how things are going.

At the end of the day, give yourself grace and remember that you won’t be able to change things in one day. Behavior change takes time, improving relationships takes time, and developing trust takes time.

Growing plant