A Toast to 2021-2022!
How often do you stop to celebrate accomplishments or “wins” in your work as an educator? Do you find yourself directing mental energy toward practicing a warm and understanding view of yourself or magnifying the moments in which you fall short or feel inadequate? How often do you spend time and resources to reassure yourself you aren’t alone and to stand up for yourself? As we approach the end of another school year, consider taking an opportunity to celebrate your accomplishments and the obstacles you have overcome!
This dual relationship of tenderly meeting your needs and protecting oneself is captured in the concept of “fierce compassion” by Dr. Kristin Neff. Dr. Neff, an Associate Professor in the Educational Psychology Department at the University of Texas at Austin, is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research. Dr. Neff outlines three elements of self-compassion including self-kindness vs. self-judgment, common humanity vs. isolation, and mindfulness vs. over-identification.
Dr. Neff writes about the yin and yang relationship of tender and fierce self-compassion in the following way:
“Tender self-compassion involves “being with” ourselves in an accepting way: comforting ourselves, reassuring ourselves that we aren’t alone, and being present with our pain. Fierce self-compassion involves “acting in the world” to alleviate suffering. It tends to involve protecting, providing for, and motivating ourselves.”
As you approach the end of the school year, perhaps you take a few moments to engage in a practice called, “Toast to Myself” (Wayfinder 2022). This practice, grounded in research and directly connected to the work of Dr. Neff, will allow you the space to combine self-acceptance and celebrating your accomplishments to motivate you to reach your future goals. Consider engaging in this practice with students, colleagues, or family members!
To create your toast, first identify your answers to the following prompts:
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One thing you like about yourself…
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One thing you are proud of…
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One thing you’re good at…
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One thing that makes you you is…
Now put it together in the following sentence, “I want to give a toast to someone who _______ (add the prompt items from above). And that person is me.” Write your toast in a place you will see it regularly or share it out loud with someone who cares about you and can remind you to practice tender and fierce self-compassion often.
Dr. Neff’s Self-Compassion Test
Guided Practices for Fierce Self-Compassion
Project Wayfinder’s Toast to Myself Lesson Plan
Works Cited: Neff, K. (2022, January 21). What is fierce self-compassion? Self-Compassion. Retrieved April 11, 2022, from https://self-compassion.org/
Toast to myself - pureedgeinc.org. (n.d.). Retrieved April 11, 2022, from https://pureedgeinc.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/03.02.21-Project-Wayfinder-Handout.pdf
Patricia Lehmann
Scotti Hagensick
